I HATE THESE SHOES
Jonathan Messner, MS, CSCS
Hulk Smash
Hate is a strong word.
I really hate these shoes though.
There are so many reasons I hate these shoes.
They represent the worst in what we have to offer one another, with both the words “stupidity” and “greed” coming to mind.
For those of you who don't know what I am talking about, Skechers claim that the Skechers Shape-ups can "increase lower leg muscle activation, increase calorie burn, improve posture, and reduce moderate back pain" just by wearing them.
C’mon people, really?
Jon The Philosopher
I have always loathed the idea of the quick fix.
The quick fix plays right into our ego and similarly, our misguided willingness to spend money on things that promise a quick fix.
These shoes epitomize the quick fix. If these shoes could talk, they would say, “Because of me you do not have to work to get in shape. You can keep doing the things you have already done that have gotten you to this point in your life, yet somehow, magically, I will reverse the process that got you here.”
I am going to give you the meaning of life right now. Are you ready? Are you prepared?
The meaning of life is hard work. Your parents know it. Your ancestors knew it.
When we willingly do things that we do not want to do, that is when peace, happiness, and love are nurtured. Conversely, when things are given to us, whether genuine or not (such as "improving calorie burn" just by putting on a shoe), we get desensitized and instead of finding peace, happiness, and love through good ole' fashioned hard work, we are constantly wanting more. And then we suffer.
These shoes cause suffering.
Jon The Exercise Physiologist
As you probably know, I am a huge minimalist shoe proponent. I think less is more. These shoes are obviously more, much more.
According to Skechers, these shoes "promote a more natural barefoot stride" and "allow near limitless range of free motion".
If we look at the mechanics of how the foot is supposed to work, both the toes and the ankles should have full ranges of motion in flexion, extension, and rotation. Wearing a big, comfy shoe inhibit these ranges of motion because (a) the shoe physically changes the structure of the foot because its design forces the foot to deform to meet its shape and (b) it limits the proprioceptive nature of the foot because it raises the foot a few millimeters off the ground. What happens to wild animals when you put them in a zoo? They stop functioning normally. These shoes are like a zoo. A really ugly looking zoo.
In my opinion, putting these monstrosities on your feet for daily living destroys the foots' ability to feel the ground, and subsequently, severely changes basic locomotive function (walking, running, etc.)
In my opinion, if you choose to wear these shoes to workout in because you hate your life you will end up altering basic movement pattern function (squat, bend, push, pull) and encourage compensatory motion at the same time! It's a hat trick! This will in turn further displace the body from its norms, setting you up for a lifetime of musculoskeletal pain and misery.
Jon The Marketer
What I have concluded is that the creators and manufacturers of these shoes are really trying to tell you that if you buy these shoes, you will:
(a) hurt your back.
(b) hurt your hip.
(c) hurt you knees.
(d) hurt something else I have not thought of.
(e) not get in shape because you are always hurt.
(f) gain weight because you cannot workout because you are depressed because you are hurt.
(g) look silly wearing them.
